Frugal Frustrations

If you're a mom, especially a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) you're probably very aware of the coupon frenzy that is sweeping the nation.  There have to be thousands (upon thousands) of blogs dedicated to the topic.  At first glance you think - Hey, these people are saving huge amounts on their groceries just by clipping or printing some coupons... how hard can it be?

It's hard.

I've been trying to play the coupon game for almost a year now and I would say in that amount of time I've had one shopping trip that I would be willing to take a picture of to post on a blog somewhere (For those of you unfamiliar with frugal blogs, this is a common thing to do... yes, I realize taking pictures of your groceries is a little odd).  Week after week, shopping trip after shopping trip, checkout after checkout has ended in disappointment.  Sure, I've had the occasional freebie, but after still paying $100+ on groceries for the week, that freebie (which is usually something I could have done without in the first place) doesn't really seem to matter much (unless it's chocolate).

I've spent hours (please don't ask Dipal about it) trying to plan my grocery list around the best deals, searching the blogs, browsing the ads & inserts in the Sunday papers while always wondering if all of it was really worth it.

I'm starting to think it's not.

Yesterday I was somewhat excited for my grocery trip out as I had some rare coupons on Coca-Cola products and some Extra Credit Bucks built up at CVS.  Combined with the sale CVS was running on sodas I thought I was in for some major moolah saving, but when doing the math with Dipal after I got home I realized that I had spent $.50 more at CVS than if I had bought everything at Walmart.  Sure, money wise it's not a huge loss, but when you think about the time I spent reading the blogs, clipping the coupons, and towing 2 kids to the store to get my supposed "deal"(and I'm not even counting forgetting their stroller and having to turn around to come back home and get it as well as our car breaking down on me in the equation since it doesn't directly pertain to the couponing)... yeah, I wasn't too thrilled.

So why not so easily give up this couponista lifestyle?  For one, there is a huge adrenaline rush when you're walking out of the store feeling like you just scored a bargain.  The problem is, I could get these bargains every week, but most of the time I wouldn't be leaving the store with things I need, just things I got because they were a good deal.  Second, when I read these blogs I see moms talking about only spending $75/week for a family of 4 with 2 kids in diapers and once again I think - If they can do it why can't I?  I think the closest I've come to spending $75/week on groceries was before I ever seriously used coupons.  Third, dwindling our grocery budget has been a challenge for me (obviously one I can't conquer) in a couple of ways: 1) Instead of making money for the family, my goal was to save it, in my own way contributing to the family budget. 2) It filled the void of not having a career - It was a task set for myself that I had interest in and a timeline to accomplish, my compensation being the saved money and feeling of success.

So, what is a girl to do?

For now, I'm thinking the couponing is going to be taking a bit of a break (if not gone forever).  Am I going to go wild and crazy with our grocery budget?  Yes!! (Just kidding Dipal)  Absolutely not.  I'll still make grocery lists and maybe even use the occasional coupon, like ones that come in the mail, through email, or received after a purchase (For example, at Babies R Us we received a 20% off coupon on any purchase the other day... considering we're about to purchase a car seat for Jackson it would be stupidity not to use it).  The biggest difference will be no hours of frugal blogging, advertisement browsing and towing kids to the store to score a "hot deal."

As for those moms spending so little, I have to ask how much time they're putting into it to save so much.  Most (if not all) the moms I read about that are couponing are SAHMs and I would think that's probably because a working mom would have no time to invest in it.  Even so, SAHMs aren't just sitting around watching soaps (I'll be the first to fill you in on that - why do you think my blog posts are so far and few between even though it's something I love to do?).  I could try to coupon during kiddie naps, but I'll probably only squeeze out an hour.  I could do it after the kids go to bed (usually around 8), but by the end of the day I'm exhausted.  I guess my point is - what are these moms replacing with time spent on coupons - Playing outside with the kids, cleaning the kitchen, working on the laundry?  Replacing time spent on something else is the only way I would be able to have a chance at being successful with coupons and I'm not sure the pros outweigh the cons.

** This post is in no way a stab at those of you who may be able to coupon successfully and maintain a happy household.  If you can do that, kudos to you (I seriously mean that)!!  This is just the perspective of someone who doesn't have it that way.**

Dear Blog, You Have not Been Forgotten...

To those of you who might see this/check this blog occasionally I wanted you to know I am dying to get back to writing!! I promise it IS in the works! :)

Thanks!

Brittany

Back to Blogging plus Free Coffee!

Blogging is a much needed therapeutic activity in my day and now that life is settling down a little bit, I want to jump back into it!

On top of sharing stories and thoughts, I also want to start posting some frugal finds that could help us all out a little in these days of budget awareness! :)

To start... How about some FREE caffeine to start off your week? McDonald's is offering up Free Mocha Mondays every Monday through August 3, 7 am - 7 pm. Only one 8 oz. mocha or 7 oz. iced mocha per person per visit (which sounds like a good size for free!). Thanks to STLMommy for the info! STLMommy also posted for those in the St. Louis area there is a coupon available for a free McCafe drink by going to www.waketheheckup.com, clicking on the Pick Me Up Machine, and filling out the survey. The coupon is only good for 72 hours from the time you print. It's very quick and easy and a cute way to waste some time! ;)

Is Mommy Suppose to Equal Scaredy Cat, or is my Math Off?

Whenever you're thinking about becoming a mom or especially during the pregnancy stage, everyone tells you what you have to look forward to. For example, the "better get all the sleep you can now because you won't sleep good again until the child is grown up and out of the house" or "better save all the money you can now because having children is expensive." But no one ever said to me "better stash up on some courage now because when you have children you're going to be a worried mess"!
Now, don't get me wrong, I have always had a tendency to worry. But since becoming a mom I have developed completely new fears, one of those being thunderstorms. It drives my husband insane, but at the first crack of thunder and bolt of lightning I completely tense up and surf through all local channels to see if there is a severe thunderstorm warning, or even worse - a tornado watch or warning! It doesn't matter if it's while we're sitting on the couch in the evening or in the middle of the night when I'm supposed to be sleeping (which is the case majority of the time).
The most annoying I get with this fear is in the middle of the night. If I wake up to a storm I immediately begin the local channel surfing. If I’m scared enough and need the volume up loud or feel like I’m starting to bother anyone I’ll go out to the living room (carrying the flashlight I keep next to the bed in case power goes out) to do this. Often, if it is storming that bad, the tv usually gets knocked out and then I steal my husband’s handy dandy Iphone and literally track storms from his phone. One night I fell asleep with his phone next to me just in case I needed to check on the weather again. The next morning he was getting ready to leave for work and asked where his phone was. I handed him his phone and said “Your phone is over here. I was using it to track storms.” He just laughed and couldn’t believe I had been up tracking storms during the night. One time I even got so scared that I grabbed my son and went to our bathroom and held him until the storm calmed down, not because he was scared, but because I was scared and wanted to make sure he was safe.
Granted I have moved to a new place where storms seem louder and more prone to tornadoes, I can’t remember a time in my life when I ever felt so scared of storms. When in college, if I heard there was going to be a severe thunderstorm I just thought it was a great excuse to wear my cool rain boots and jacket so I don’t get too wet, not I better prepare for a tornado.
I guess it’s just one of the signs of the amazing love you have for your child as a mom. You instinctively feel the need to be a protector for your family “come rain or come shine.” This has proven to be an area where my husband balances me out well. He is always the one reassuring me that everything will be ok and there's no need in worrying about what's to come. There was actually a tornado warning earlier this evening in our area, and although I was nervous, I felt a lot calmer than usual. Of course, I kept a close eye on the weather making sure our specific location was ok and in the clear, but I didn't pace the floor or stalk weather.com. Just tried to take a deep breath and go on. Hopefully, my fear will soon pass into simple cautiousness, but with a growing boy, I'm sure there are plenty more fears to come!

*Picture above is from Leet Software's Thunder and Lightning Screen Saver Page.*

The "F" Word

This past weekend Dipal (my husband) had to travel to Chicago for a work trip, so little Jayden and I tagged along and brought our friend Amanda to help us tour "The Windy City." It was my first time actually spending time in the downtown area and I absolutely loved it! I definitely could have spent a lot more time there, there's just so much available to do. I think it's great when you can go somewhere and enjoy great shopping, great weather temp.s, a clean beach and of course sight-seeing (if you wish) all within a very short drive, or possibly even walking distance. We had a great view of downtown and the river from our hotel - The Holiday Inn at Mart Plaza - and amazing service from the staff! I have to say kudos to the Chicagoans for being way nicer than I ever expected in the north! Being from the south, I feel like I can always tell a huge difference when I travel somewhere in the hospitality of the people, but everyone was so unbelievably nice in Chicago! My only complaint would be heavy traffic, no matter what time of day, it was always there - but hey, it's a big city, it's to be expected!
So, after our downtown fun was over, we stopped to see Dipal's family who live in the Chicago suburbs. I am very lucky to have very sweet family from Dipal's side and I want to say that I really enjoy the family that we had the chance to visit with! With that said, something happened during our visit and I feel the need to share because I know I'm not the only one this has happened to, and if it happens to you, know you're not alone. Ok, here goes... My husband's aunt walked up to me and said (loosely quoted) "Brittany, you getting fat? Are you pregnant again?". That's right folks - she called me every new mom's worst nightmare, the "F" word, "FAT." Even more, asked if I was pregnant again. :(
I immediately turned a very bright shade of red and became completely flustered and speechless. I felt so great about all the walking we had done while downtown, but that bubble got busted within seconds! I never in my life have struggled with weight and definitely have never been called fat. But almost eight months after giving birth I am still struggling with losing the weight, and those who know me closely know I am very hard on myself because I have always struggled with a low self image. But only eight months after giving birth, isn't that normal for most women? Not all of us can look like Nicole Kidman or Jennifer Lopez with our personal trainers, chefs, and nannys to watch our children so we can spend time whipping ourselves into tip-top shape. For the average everyday person it takes time, and that is okay! Actually, I remember reading many times while pregnant: It takes 9 months to gain the weight and about the same to lose it. And another little fact I heard recently is that although breastfeeding can help to lose weight quickly in the beginning, it makes those last 10-15 pounds harder to lose because your body is still supporting another precious little being. So, to all of you moms out there... it's ok if you're struggling to lose that weight! You are SO not alone, even if you feel like you're surrounded by skinny mommys on TV! The healthy way to lose is slowly and you need to do what is best for you and your baby. I know I'm trying to focus on sticking to the basics of working out and eating well to try to lose my weight and eventually my weight will get back in check. To those of you who know a mommy who is working to lose that weight, give nothing but support and positivity!
I hold absolutley no hard feelings towards the aunt who made this comment to me. If anything, I'm now thankful because it inspired my working out, that had been taking somewhat of a vacation, to get back on track. I have such a supportive network of family and friends who boost that low self-esteem back up that I usually don't stay too down for too long. And hopefully, as part of the intention of the entire blog, this story can show others of you out there we all share in the same struggles as mommys!

*The picture above is from the "Chicago" entry at Wikipedia*

What I learned from Richard Simmons

First, a disclaimer for today's post: I like to analyze life a lot and take lessons away from things. Sometimes, that is a great way to learn life lessons. However, sometimes, (and my husband as well as close friends would back me up on this) I over analyze and make up horrible scenarios out of nothing. Today, some of you might think this is a silly scenario I'm writing about, but I choose to turn it into a positive life lesson!
So, earlier this week a friend my husband works with told us the one and only Richard Simmons was coming to a local Walgreen's. I'll be honest, I've never watched a single Richard Simmons video, never followed one of his weight-loss plans, never been an avid Richard Simmons follower, but I think that guy is hysterical!! Immediately, my first thought was: I have to get a picture with that guy! I have to get Jayden's picture with that guy! This is too funny to pass up!! Well, to my surprise, while driving through St. Louis yesterday I saw the sign saying the big day had arrived, Richard Simmons 6-8pm! So, I told my husband how much I wanted to go, how funny it would be. I told my boss (I work part-time, but take my son with me when I actually go into the office, most my work is done from home), I told my friends... I was ready to get my picture! I even called my husband at work to tell him about the "Welcome Richard" car sitting outside the Walgreen's. *I sound like a crazy person, yes, I know this* So, after my husband gets off work I'm talking about Richard Simmons again and I catch his 'absolutely not interested' vibe. Oh no! Then, I think, maybe one of neighbors who happens to be a very sweet friend, would go. She calls to see if I want to go to the gym, I mention Richard Simmons is at Walgreen's, but she didn't seem to care much either, except to say Richard would be very proud of us for going to the gym (Very true, BTW!)! So, I didn't go, didn't get my picture, and was very sad I wouldn't have a cool Richard Simmons story for my new blog. To make matters worse, this morning my husband sent me a very cute, funny pic of the work friend who went to meet Mr. Simmons!! Never thought I would say this, but I am so jealous!
My lesson learned - why was I waiting on someone else to go with me? If I thought it would be so fun and funny I should have just gone myself. I immediately remembered the time when I was a freshman at The University of Tennessee (Go VOLS!!!!) and wanted to go to the freshman picnic to meet people. When my roommate wouldn't go with me, I stayed in my room instead of getting out to meet new people, and this was the beginning of a very hard, lonely first semester of college. Luckily, my now husband became a great friend during that time and made sure I was getting out meeting new people.
Your take away from all this: Do things for yourself, don't wait on others to help you do it. Be confident, and if something is important to you, go for it. There was a quote I really liked in high school after a big breakup and I think it is very appropriate here. "Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting on someone to bring you flowers." -Veronica A. Shoffstall

*The picture above is from the Official Richard Simmons website*

"Unwritten"

The title of my blog was inspired by the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. The lyrics are super positive and talk about making the best of life and taking advantage of opportunities. "Unwritten Young Mom" stands for a mom looking at life like a book - Every day is a new page and a new adventure. The future of the book is still unwritten and it's up to me to make each page as positive as I can.